the concept that the closer people become, the more conflict arises to pull them apart

I was doin' the readin' for my online speech course, and this came up. "Relational Dialectics." The theory that the closer individuals become to one another, the more conflict will arise to pull them apart. It was like nothing in my life had ever made more sense to me in my life. Besides that.....




During many dicussions at the San Francisco Conservatory of Dance, we all confessed our reasons for lovin' the dancin'. Most girls cried and said dance was their only was to get out all of their anger and emotions and feelings built up from life and stuff. It's kind of different for me. Dance is how I get away from all of the shit. The physicality breeds new emotions, not ones I already go through day in day out. I don't wanna relive those.

The Conservatory isn't really dance. It's like how to live your life. All the things I have learned about dance apply equally and more strongly to my life. And I think that is why people go see dance. Because they want to see how to live their life.

I SAID HEY

I cry like every day, but I've realized I love crying. I cry when I see a kid hug her dad, I cried when I heard this song on the radio earlier, not because it's sad or it touched me, it's just SO GOOD. I cry watching MTV and whenever I have to tell Bailee good bye. This is so weird to me because I used to NEVER cry. I mean never. But now I love it.

So I'm gonna move to San Francisco in like two weeks, I'm gonna buy a bike and a longboard eventually. I'm gonna finish dumb online high school and I'm gonna baby sit to make some money before I can get a real job. And I'm gonna turn on all the tvs in the house and the radios and computers and talk on the phone so I'm not lonely. I've discovered the cure and it is an on/off switch. And when I get sad I'll listen to tubthumping by chumbawumba (i get knocked down...but I get up again....)

AND I'm gonna write all of my penpals. I have like twenty.

This will be my little family on the MUNI on Halloweeney one day :

kind of my life